Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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