I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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