dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
