Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
