sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
