I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
