Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
