dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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