i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
