RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dear god my vagina.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
