its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
