super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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