you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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