You just made me feel so damn special
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
