the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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