She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
