I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
