awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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