this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
