I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can you bring me the toilet please
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
