booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
