I understand Curling. That high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
