If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
