i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
