So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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