Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
