I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
