How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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