I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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