and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
