kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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