anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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