so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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