I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
