either way he was missing a nipple.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
