Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
