Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think my tv is drunk
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
