In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
