yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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