You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
