I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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