I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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