1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
