sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
