pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
