just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
