I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
