Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
