hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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