She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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