She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
